Ruined
by poeticgrace
Summary: One look ruins Avery every time, and now that their relationship is in shambles, has he ruined things with Scarlett for good? Alternate scene from 1x9. ONE SHOT.


"I swear, I look at you and I'm still ruined."

Avery knew as soon as he said the words that they were like keys to the kingdom and that Scarlet would be powerless against letting him in. However, that didn't mean that he meant them any less. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and that beauty went far beyond just the physical. She was warm and sweet, supportive and sincere, gracious and selfless. He knew even as she kissed him that he didn't deserve to have her even look his way, let alone allow him to hold her in his arms. He had never been good enough for this magnificent creature, and all the terrible things he had done to her these past few months did absolutely nothing to change that.

And yet, there they were, moving together in perfect synchronicity just as they always had. He knew her body better than he knew his own. He had missed it in every way possible, but most of all, he had missed the part that came after. Once they were both spent and tangled in the sheets, he relished in the way her tiny frame folded against his and her blonde hair just seemed to be everywhere. They were both silent as he wrapped his arms around her lithe waist and pulled her flat against his chest. Their hearts pounded in time together, and he cursed his phone for interrupting their perfect moment.

He inevitably says something stupid that has her screaming and before he knows it, she's throwing his clothes at him and telling him to get out. Avery can hear the urgency in her voice and he knows that this is it, it's over. Something snaps in him then and he gets overwhelmingly terrified. He's supposed to be in Atlanta in a few hours and he doesn't want to go. He doesn't want to go anywhere because as soon as he leaves this house, she'll never let him back in. So he decides then and there that he isn't going anywhere. He's messed up so huge that there should be no coming back from it, but the way she is crying now tells him that there is still something there worth fighting for.

"You're right," he whispers, looking down at his stupid ratty boots, the ones that are falling apart but she loves on him. He is scared to look up at her because he doesn't want to see the disgust in her beautiful eyes. "You're right, Scar, absolutely correct. I am a terrible person and I don't deserve any of the good things that are happening to me. JT and the guys, they should be there with me. They've been there for everything, and now, I just turned my back on them. What kind of guy does that?"

Scarlett looked at him sadly, shaking her head as she lowered herself to the edge of the sofa. He knew she didn't recognize the man he had become. This version of Avery was a far cry from the guy she had fallen in love with so long ago. He had been a dreamer, and this one was a jealous, selfish, broken man.

"A bad guy, Avery," she bit out in her deep Southern accent. He could see the tears glimmering in her eyes. He hated himself for being the one to put them there. "They deserve better than you gave them and you know it. You keep saying how this is your chance but what about their chance? And what about the cost of getting this damn chance? Is it worth giving up everything else for? The price you're paying is awfully steep so you better be sure."

Avery thought about how jealous he had been when she had signed her publishing deal. Everyone thought it was because she was getting this great opportunity while he was being left alone, and sure, that was part of it. But he had also been terrified about losing her, when that inevitable moment would come when she would wake up and realize that she was way too good for him. Scarlett was so amazingly talented that she could do anything she wanted. She was destined for big things and he should have told her that every single day. Instead, he had only held her back.

"I really thought it would be worth it," he told her truthfully. "This was the dream, and I wanted to get it at any cost. I was a selfish fool to believe that I could get everything and you all would be just waiting in the wings. I thought everyone would forgive me because you guys always forgave me. I guess I finally ran out of second chances."

Scarlett turned slightly and looked up at him from behind dark lashes. "I would have forgiven you for anything, Avery," she replied. "You know that I did. But I can't forgive you for this. You're not the same man. I'm not even sure who I'd be forgiving anymore."

"Me neither," he admitted. "I hate myself for it, Scar. I hate that I am doing this to you, to us. I was so stupid. I thought that this was all I wanted but it's not. None of it means anything if I don't have you there with me. And I know that I don't deserve to have you even listening to me now, let alone forgive me. I wish I had these magic words now that would could fix it, but I wrecked us good. I did this all, me. None of it was you."

"No arguments here," she smiled, and Avery felt something break loose in his heart. "I just think that anything worth having, Avery, shouldn't come at the total cost of your life. The right opportunity will come along and you won't have to ditch the guys because some fancy producer sees you as a product. The right label would see you guys as the complete package. They'd want the muddy, scruffy man that I love and not some shiny guy in boots that aren't broken in yet and jeans that came already faded."

"You love me?"

She laughed a little as she shook her head. "Of course that's all you heard," she retorted. "That was never our problem. Well, maybe it was my problem, I still haven't decided. It wasn't that we don't love each other, Avery. It's that I love you too much to accept anything other than the real you. This guy isn't you."

"I hate this guy," he sighed as he ran his fingers through his long brown locks. She adjusted the blanket around her shoulders, the edge slipping down just enough to show a patch of milky white skin. God, she is beautiful. "I don't know who I am anymore, but I do know that I don't like who I've become. I know we can't go back, but I don't want to go on being this person. I just want to remember what it was that made you fall in love with me. Help me remember, Scar, say you will help me remember."

Tears of desperation ran down his scruffy cheeks as he buried his face in his hands. It was an act, it wasn't a last-ditch effort to get her to forgive him. It was real and she could tell that he meant everything. "Oh, Avery," she exhaled as she knelt down on the floor in front of him. She wrapped her arms around his shaking frame and tucked her face into the side of his neck. "I'm right here, it's okay. We're going to be okay."

"We?"

"Yes, we," she repeated as she pressed a chaste kiss to his forehead. He gathered her up into his lap then, his arms tight around her as he held her and they cried together. When his sobs had finally subsided, she kissed his cheek and then his eyelids. "You can't go to Atlanta. If this is going to work, if you really meant it, you have to stay here in Nashville. You have to call that producer and tell him that you're not going to do it."

He only considered it for a second. She was asking a lot of him. Chances like this didn't come along every day, and it could easily be the only one he would ever get. But he had meant what he had said to her so he agreed. "I'll make the call right now," he said as he reached for his phone, keeping his arms locked tightly around her while he talked to Dominic King. And when the call was over, he turned off his phone and tossed it across the room. "I am staying in Nashville with you."

"We have a lot to work out still," Scarlett asserted, poking him in the chest for emphasis. "And we need to figure it all out, but right now I have to go meet Gunnar to do some writing."

"Just like that?"

"Yup," she answered, letting the last letter pop. "Let me up, I need to change."

He watched her go and was momentarily angry that she was just blowing him off. And then he remembered how amazing she sounded when she sang and how incredible their songs were and how maybe it was okay that she shine for awhile as long as he got to be in her glow. So he got off the couch and made her a to-go bag with some of those chocolate cherry granola bars she was so crazy about and a cup of piping hot coffee. Her grin was a country mile wide when she came back in the kitchen in search of her keys.

"You'll need your caffeine," he told her as he kissed her on the tip of her nose. "Maybe we can meet for dinner after if you feel like it. I'm going to go tell the guys the truth so you can call me when you're done if you want. I could bring something back here or whatever. Just let me know."

"We're gonna get back to being okay, Avery," she promised him quietly just before she left. She stood on her tip toes and kissed him soundly, letting her lips linger longer than usual as she pulled back. "I don't know much for sure, but I am sure about that. You aren't the only one who's ruined with just one look. You always do that to me, every single time."

Later that night, Scarlett let him pick up barbecue sandwiches and come back to their house for a late dinner by candlelight on the living room floor. They talked about JT and the guys and she told him about her writing session with Gunnar. And after the dishes had been cleared and she had pulled his guitar out of its case in the corner, Scarlett propped it up on her knee and played him the song she had written that day. She called it "Ruined."

_Fin._


End file.
